Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Long time no see

On my way home from work yester-evening, guess who I saw? Michael; my once upon a time "boyfriend" I've had a crush on him for years b4 he asked me out.And when he did I started believing in dreams.

He's a cute guy. Must admit atleast that. He's also, I believe closer to God than others are, which i like more than anything in a man. Another is that he's close and respectful to his mom; another feather.But I found that we aren't operating on the same levels. When I'm with him I feel disconnected from him. We make up and break up everytime which is normal for every relationship, but we don't understand ourselves.

He thinks am a snob. And I think he wants to use me. And yet we feel drawn somehow to ourselves. We met almost a decade ago, when I was still living with my cousin. He used to come around that area to see his friends.The first time he asked me out or rather asked me to be his girlfriend I was flattered but i turned him down telling him "If we are destined together, we will be, whatever will be will be" Laughable isn't it?

So many of us find ourselves in this kind of relationships. We'd all get to a point where we ask ourselves questions; what am I doing here? Why do I allow him/ her to treat me like dirt, as if I don't exist. Whatever questions we may have for staying in an oppressive or uncomfortable relationship, its not worth it.

I guess I stayed out of loneliness. No one wants to be alone. So we end up taking what we shouldn't take. Though its different if u're in love with the person not the idea of him. Your relationship might have some hope when u pray fervently.

For those married, am sorry, don't bother looking for a way out 'cos u're in it for life. You said "For better for worse" I think am going to write about what i think abt this next.

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